What You Take With You

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Circus is family. That has always been a perception:  that you had to be born into a circus family to join the circus. That is one truth but it is also true that circus itself is a family. I started my own circus family and am now the mother of three biological children who are all circus performers. But I also started a much larger circus family called Circus Harmony. When I first founded the St. Louis Arches youth circus troupe in 1989, I had no idea that little troupe of ten would grow into a full circus school where hundreds of children have learned focus, persistence and teamwork while they trained to flip, fly and fling.  They also learned that truth I learned when I first joined the circus: Circus is family.

Family are the people who care about you and take care of you. If you ask Circus Harmony students about being in the circus, they will almost all talk about it being a family. On Friday, June 4, 2016, we had a reunion of people who had been members of the St. Louis Arches from as far back as 1989! They brought their children, some brought their mothers. They all brought their memories of being part of the circus family and how much it meant to them and shaped them as the adults they are now.  One posted on Facebook:  “This place (the circus) made me a very interesting person! I learned and grew with people from different lives! Remembering when you were part of something great.. best years of my life.”

Keaton Hentoff-Killian is a Circus Harmony alumnus who is also my now 21 year old, acrobatic, wire-walking biological son. I have been watching Keaton perform since he insisted on crawling into the ring with the St. Louis Arches as a very small child. I’ve watched him in hundreds of Circus Harmony shows, numerous Circus Flora shows— including the one where he was the lead character at both the St. Louis Symphony and tented productions. This April, I watched his final exam act on tight wire for Ecole Nationale de Cirque (ENC) in Montreal with tears in my eyes. (You can see it HERE.) The poignant performance piece was about mothers and sons and life chapters. It was about leaving. For the entire act, he stayed on the wire and never went back to the platform. 

This month, June, I went to the ENC graduation show. There is a photograph of him from this show where he is standing on the platform of the wire,  with suitcase in hand, looking off into the distance.  He looks older, somehow. For the show, the director had him grow a beard. But that’s not it. There is something about his presence in this show. A self-assuredness. A self-possession. It’s not that Keaton ever looked like he lacked self-confidence in the ring, quite the contrary.  But now there is a maturity, a deep awareness that grounds him even as he nimbly balances and leaps on his wire.

I have been coming to ENC for several years now. Keaton is the fifth Circus Harmony student to attend this Harvard of circus schools and his brother, my youngest biological, has two years more to go here. The staff knows me. They speak highly of Keaton. They congratulate me on Keaton’s graduation and upcoming contract. They ask how other graduates are doing. Previous conversations have talked about the skills of our students. For some reason, several conversations this time talk about the respect our students show.

In July, Keaton heads to the other side of the planet for a two year contract with the renowned contemporary circus company, Circa, touring Australia, New Zealand and Europe. He is the first of Circus Harmony’s students to be booked with them.  Like all our students since I started teaching in St. Louis over thirty years ago, he stands on the shoulders of those who went before him.  As part of the ever-evolving art form of circus, he stands on shoulders that go back to cave paintings in ancient Crete and hieroglyphics in Egypt. That is why respect is such an important character trait to carry.  No performer gets where they are alone.  

Last summer, Keaton performed for Cirque du Soleil at the Pan Am games where he also had a scene where he stood with a suitcase. As a graduation gift, I just bought him his own first real set of luggage.  As he embarks on this next big chapter in his life’s journey, as he goes off on his own to join a faraway branch of the circus family on the other side of the earth, I know he carries the tools he will need: courage, creativity, cooperation, kindness, integrity and respect. He is stepping off the platform for the great balancing act that he has chosen as his life. He goes with my love and with my respect, as my son, as a performer and as a young man.

 

Jessica Hentoff

June 2016